Today wasnt a nice day. Last night’s duty was OK and the day started off OK.
Then there was a streak of uncomfortable incidents. The parents of two babies wanted to stop treatment and I couldnt convince them. This made me feel very inadequate and helpless. Made me feel upset and angry. Then we tried a percutaneous central line insertion for a baby with malaria ( last night I couldnt get IV access for this baby and luckily Saravanan managed to cannulate a vein) and after multiple attempts trying the veins in the limbs Pillai, Manish and I were unsuccessful. After rounds Manish and I tried the scalp veins and failed again. Again felt helpless. Would have been a terrible day. But it wasnt that way. Manish spoke to the relatives of one of the baby and they agreed to take the baby to another hospital. Felt more at peace. The father of the other baby agreed to allow us to treat him for a few more days after Pillai spoke to him. So that gave us the time we needed. Medical practice is filled with ethical, social, religious and social controversies especially when we treat babies who cant speak and there are financial constraints. I’ve not found answers to a lot of questions that pop in my mind. Many times I really wonder if I have done the right thing. I pray for wisdom – the kind that begins with the fear of the Lord. Need an extra portion of that!! Actually lots of it!!
To top off today Manish and I went out for dinner and had a relaxed awesome dinner at a great restaurant. It ended off a muddled up day peacefully. Felt tired, but not as upset as I thought I would be!