This is where I stand

Friday the 13th: D-day!!
After getting ready, checking, rechecking I finally got dropped at ICH by Appa and Amma and went to the exam hall early.
To put in the experiences and details of today is impossible.
To sum it up I was shown exactly where I stand academically. I did my neonate case quite well – reflecting the 6 months extra I spent in nursery.
The rest of the exams were a mixture of answering questions I knew, stumbling on questions I didnt, being shown areas I lacked, receiving credit for things I knew.
I felt the examiners were jumping questions and seemed to be in a hurry to finish off. There were moments of mutual humor, moments of uncomfartable silences, moments of appreciative head-noddings and moments of unapproving stares.
I did what I could and that’s it – nothing fancy, nothing too embarassing ( I hope!).
I missed some questions I knew and had the wisdom to answer some stuff I’d never heard of.
I hadnt seen the cases before the exams unlike the other 4 candidates who had already worked up the cases the previous week and knew them better. Will that change anything? Was it unfair?
I didnt have an internal examiner to moderate anything.
I have no idea how I had performed compared to the other candidates – my performance will be ultimately compared with theirs.
My lack of preparation was glaring in some places.
At the end of it all I felt pretty unsatisfied – wishing the examiners had spent more time asking me to elicit findings or explaining some stuff.
I apprecited the skilled assistants who were very helpful and friendly and had also arranged for our lunch.
This is where I stand – academically… and the exams seemed fair enough as it showed me what I knew and what I didnt.
The examiners will now decide whether the performance is worthy of an MD degree. Meanwhile God continues to unravel His wondrous plans in my life.
For now – it’s not wise to think about the results till they come out officially.
While my human tendency screams out to call up someone and find out the unofficial results, God says – “Be still…. “
Today…… this is where I stand.

Author: Benji

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